Internet dating sites over 40
Where singles once struggled to get a date, apps such as Tinder make it possible to date a different person every night of the week. But there's another vast group of people using these apps who don't want such fleeting interactions.
Aged in their late 30s, 40s, 50s and older, those in this group have often survived the breakdown of marriages and long term relationships, they usually have children and/or demanding careers, have the complications that come with middle age – children, houses, demanding careers – and little desire to be hooking up in bars at midnight.
To them it may seem like a failure being single at that age, or even if happy to be single, the idea of taking up dating again doesn’t sound appealing as they haven’t done it for a while, or believe it’s meant for teenagers and young adults only.
Sure enough they may not have done it for a while, but without teenage acne and insecurity, it’s likely to be better once they get into it. Whether you are still in a relationship and need to rekindle the flame, or you find yourself single, it’s an opportunity to do it the way you want it this time.
How dare they reject me before I could reject them! Whether they were the ancient ads I helped beta test as an intern or the old standby OKCupid, I'd invest time and energy into meeting men I wouldn't otherwise come across in my day-to-day life (read: freelancing at home, usually pantless).
Moreover, there's the human factor; it's much easier to reject someone arbitrarily than it is to make an exception.
Dating in my twenties and thirties made me feel like Odysseus, trying to choose between dashing myself on the ego-bruising rocks of casual romps or a slow death from unrequited lust for garbage humans.
There was the ex who brutally dumped me but wouldn't stop emailing me for months, whose presence at dorky work gatherings made me dizzy; the sociopathic film critic whose shoulder I virtually cried on; the go-nowhere first dates; and the great, wide swaths of time spent single, usually pining after some unavailable director or writer who'd relish my attention and nothing else. There were a few things that sent me into a panic about turning 40, but the biggest — looming larger than the golden ring of a book deal or a staff job or, like, finally going back to yoga — was what it meant for me to still be single and actively looking for a partner at that age. If you're not familiar with the exciting world of online dating, sites and apps let you set search parameters that range from location to body type to education and, yes, age range.
It has generally been rote and fruitless, with occasional flurries of excitement, but for someone who makes their living with words, I've had a weirdly difficult time wooing dudes with them.
Still, the day after I turned 40, I decided to fire up an old profile and see what happened.Those exceptions take effort, and online dating is like Amazon Prime for sex.